@Kayditty: Just left WalMart. All the cute well behaved kids must be at Target.
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@KeithAshers: Sending everyone soggy empty boxes this year with a note - Hope you enjoy this expensive ice sculpture made in your honor. #CheapChristmas
@huntigula: [Anteater eats some termites] [looks up to heaven] "YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, GOD! YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU NAMED ME!"
@FuckabillyRex: I cross-bred an octopus and a panda. Let me know if you're interested in a pretty amazing hug.
@BillFienberg: I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10.