@skullpuppy11: Just like Hitler with the tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.
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@ThaJawn: Interviewer: Please take off your sunglasses.. Me: Nah, I'm afraid you'll see how high I am
@isabelzawtun: We all talk about the early bird getting the worm but what if I'm a worm and sleeping in could save my life
@sssub23: I'm really not sure how many times I'll search for my phone with the flashlight on my phone before I realize I'm an idiot....
@KrunkedRobot: My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.