@KentWGraham: Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.”
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@colesprouse: You're losing followers because you're not relatable enough. Try mentioning that you eat pizza. If that doesn't work, play the ukulele.
@Togsbabble: My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the "what is this shit" look.
@T_Bonezzz_: A Library is a good place to get in a fight with ur girlfriend cuz its the only place u can get away with saying "Shhh" w/out being murdered