@ben_watt: Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out 'Batman, your cape.'
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@lilgapeach30: Fine, you drive. I won't tell you how. I'll just yell WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA THROW UP AND WE'RE GONNA DIE til we arrive.
@Lazer_Cat_: The Terminator would have been better if they'd cast Jim Parsons. "Bazinga" is so much better than "I'll be back."
@imdaintyaf: What's the best way to dispose of a dead body? Was asking for a friend, but he was being a whiny shit about it, so now I'm asking for me.