@ben_watt: Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out 'Batman, your cape.'
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@krautsider: Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper
@withanewname: Friend: Bro, those were sick fireworks! Sorry about your eye, but I think the ER may be busy. Me: No worries, my wife made reservations.
@Tmoney68: At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.
@KateWhineHall: Dear parents who line up 45 minutes early in the school pick-up line, I don't understand.