@ben_watt: Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out 'Batman, your cape.'
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@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual.
@Rick_IZ: People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again.
@LinajkReturns: Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one.
@Sassafrantz: [texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident.