@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"
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@ScottLinnen: Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness.
@ZAKagan: Me: look at these colorful leaves, fall is so beautiful Leaf: *cough* behold the desolation of my brothers *wheeze* death surrounds us all
@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it