@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"
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@behindyourback: "conference" comes from the Latin "con" meaning "together with" and "ference" meaning "the worst people on earth"
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "you did this."
@AngelaEhh: Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll? Bartender: Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me? Bartender: Me: Beer.