@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"
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@BruceForce: I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they're hatching some kind of evil plan.
@TheAlexNevil: Shoulder Devil: So I say "Go on--do it!" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?