@HorribleDancer: Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
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@EndhooS: "Morning guys" "HOLY SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN!" - Clark Kent's first day at work wearing contact lenses
@Trudacious: You should ask her if she gained weight. That way she knows you're paying attention to her.
@dave_cactus: Why stop at clocks? I set my stapler forward an hour too. Told my shoes it's Tuesday. My car still thinks it's 1987.
@tarashoe: if i'm bleeding out in an alley & you approach me w/an app that would save me, but i'd have to login using facebook, i'd be fine w/just dyin