@MCaparco: When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?

@murrman5: *takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* "did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*

@Book_Krazy: So excited! I'm taking an online grammar class. No more typos for me. Nolege is power biches!

@KKAlThani: A cop stopped me & asked "do you know why I followed you" so I said "cause my tweets are funny" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in jail.

@MarfSalvador: Wife: Will he still able to play the accordion? Doc: Ma'am, your husband has no brain function whatsoever Wife: So yes then