@trevso_electric: Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
@odannyboy: DC: Wonder Woman is too complex for a movie. Marvel: We just made $100m on a movie featuring a talking raccoon and a walking tree. In space.
@Shanehasabeard: There's a lady at work named Lillian Llewellyn who carries a briefcase and I like to imagine it falling open and spilling a bunch of L's
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.