@trevso_electric: Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
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@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
@ashmensch: Good neighbors never bother you. Great neighbors don't call the cops when you pass out naked on their lawn.
@mydmac: Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing.
@RealDMK: I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out "stop it" every 30 min