@SavoirFail: Just ONCE, I'd like took deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
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@SaraMansford: Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving
@baconacid: "weed is a gateway drug" "to what? the fridge? Hahaha" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*
@WhatevaConc: Before saying anything like "you have really soft hands for a man", just be like so goddamned sure they're a man.