@NickSchug: Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper "Ew, ew, ew, ew." while doing it.
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@JohnLyonTweets: [heaven] Abraham Lincoln: If only I'd stayed in that night instead of going to that show. Batman's parents: Same.
@Ivsy01: People used to have to hunt for food now its like omg two people are in line ahead of me at Starbucks.
@SondraDeeMe: ME: I have the blood of my enemies on my face and hands BF: That’s salsa [last taco on my plate is visibly shaking]
@boomdingwinning: Remember, it doesn't have to be the "perfect" muder, just an unsolvable one. ~me as a motivational speaker