@NickSchug: Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper "Ew, ew, ew, ew." while doing it.
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@CulturedRuffian: 1985: "I hope we'll have flying cars in the future!" 2017: "I just used the flashlight on my cell phone to look for spiders under my bed."
@BrettDruck: Me: omg look how bad they messed up my name at Starbucks, this isn't even close lupita nyong'o: that's my coffee