@goodreads: Just one more chapter! (via @someecards)
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@SortaBad: "I'd like to make a large cash deposit" teller: ok, how much do you have? "Wow can't a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?"
@Book_Krazy: Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:...
@GashleyMadison: I love playing catch with my dogs when I'm drunk, because I don't have dogs when I'm sober.