@goodreads: Just one more chapter! (via @someecards)
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@TEXASVETERAN: I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices.
@librarianfonz: My job is like defeating a final boss in a video game: I spend hours doing it, and when I finally do, it doesn't matter to anyone else.
@BookishBunny: Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good.