@ShawnIzadi: Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What.
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@SteveKoehler22: She gets stoked after reading: "Big strapping boxer" on dating site But soon discovers he's a 475 lb. guy working in shipping at Amazon.
@RadOrDie: I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
@ibid78: [good cop] admit you stole those diamonds [suspect] wait but I peed on them so now they're mine [dog cop] Jim he has a point
@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.