@ShawnIzadi: Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What.
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@K_blue: Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you.
@BareChesty: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Hunting accident. I think my friend is dead 911: Can you verify that he's dead? *gunshot* Me: Yep, he's dead
@tsm560: Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of.
@girl_a_whirl: Mr & Mrs Smith is my favorite movie about how trying to kill your spouse & demolishing your house can bring the magic back to your marriage