@ManJuggs: Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper "get out of me" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden.
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@AndySandford: Other people are gettin these amber alerts, right? Like, it's not up to me to find these kids?
@TheToddWilliams: WIFE: What’re you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don’t do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?
@NYC_Blonde: Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?