@ReelQuinn: Just pushed my cat’s paperwork off his desk.
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@AlanFelyk: You never hear about Aztec women complaining about being left at the altar in the old days.
@dixie_dupree: Hell is full of ugly babies, tinkerbell tshirts and fat women debating the tastiness of frozen meals.....oh wait. This is just walmart
@Underchilde: When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they’re gonna start throwing cutlery at each other.