@Harbinger_one: Just ran 45 minutes on the treadmill and burned 732 calories. Or as many people like to call it, 4 olives.
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@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.
@mauleePillar: My toddler appears to know a magic spell to transform any space into a Hoarders episode.
@ValeeGrrl: If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine.
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM