@Cheeseboy22: Just ran a .3K (Ice cream truck wouldn't stop)
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@SkunkFarts: There's a girl that I hate in my office that's white but looks like 'Precious'. I've been calling her "Pressure" & blaming my farts on her.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Excited for Game of Thrones tonight because it'll be nice to see civilized political discourse for a change.
@rolldiggity: I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?
@ericsshadow: ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.