@brunopieroni: Just ran into Björk walking into her hjötel. Ljöking fjörward to her show at Pitchfjörk tjönight (hjöly shit my Icelandic is pjërfect).
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@Storminika: A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'
@Parentpains: Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso.
@brunopieroni: Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now.