@brunopieroni: Just ran into Björk walking into her hjötel. Ljöking fjörward to her show at Pitchfjörk tjönight (hjöly shit my Icelandic is pjërfect).
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@aimlessamers: Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@Marlebean: Kid... Me... Kid... Me... Kid... Me... Kid: You didn't sew the hole in my bunny Me.. Kid.. Me: It's 3:07am Kid: So are you gonna sew it now?
@PaperWash: Facebook: your old HS friend just sent you a friend request me: cool! Facebook: she's racist now me: uhh Facebook: everyone on here is
@TheCatWhisprer: You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun.