@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
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@MichaelTrying: I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he’s kind of freaking me out guys.
@ericsshadow: [final debate] TRUMP: I'd like to apologize to hillary MODERATOR: umm ok HILLARY: umm ok TRUMP: I brought a gift *hands her a galaxy note 7*
@TheWoodenslurpy: Oh, I see. "Adam and Steve" is gay, but “Adam dates his own rib” is perfectly acceptable.
@ibid78: I wish softcore horror was a genre. Like, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU IT'S A KITTEN! OH THANK GOD IT'S JUST A FEATHER."