@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
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@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.
@shutupmikeginn: If Sherlock is such a great detective why does it take him 90min to solve a crime when CSI detectives do it in an hour minus commercials??
@echoVista: You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go.
@Sarcasticsapien: This world would be a much better place if some people's mothers would've just had a headache.