@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
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@Elifcello: I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER.
@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.
@UnderTheJewFro: I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
@usermcuserface: My throat hurts, so I better keep swallowing 50 times a minute to make sure it still hurts.