@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
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@JCWisdomNuggets: Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called "babysitting". You're wrong. It's called "parenting". Not the same.
@TheRobCee: "Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS." -inventor of incense
@tigersgoroooar: Who even thought of soup? Were they like, you know what this perfectly good meal needs? Water.
@AndyAsAdjective: 7YR OLD: dad, when Bruno Mars sings "so many pretty girls around me & they waking up the rocket," what's he mean? ME: he's a NASA scientist