@NotKarma: Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
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@Dschnoeb: I bet Egyptians were all like "Yo, nobody in history will ever worship and revere cats like we do" and then came the internet.
@therealeatwood: ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]
@NoTheOtherJohn: PILOT: This isn't funny, Ed. Let me in COPILOT: *over intercom* Hey everyone, who'd like to hear a passage from the captain's dream journal?