@NotKarma: Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
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@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
@lazerdoov: Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot
@DanMentos: [at funeral] "it was so sudden" really? "yeah right in the middle of rap battle" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right