@NotKarma: Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
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@BenjyHimmel: *wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*
@david8hughes: [first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head
@Dschnoeb: I think the only girl I know that hasn't said "you're like a brother to me" is my sister.
@halloweenbears: If u want to sound smart just make up coding languages. Like "yeah I know DeltaCube, 17v and Amorph," literally nobody will know theyre fake