@BlondieBGbb: Just read "four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter.
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@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
@Beer4AGoodTime: Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Just ask my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy.
@POTerritory: Cop: What is your line of business? Me [mumbling]: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.