@jwoodham: Just realized I follow Barack Obama and he follows me back. Excuse me while I send the leader of the free world a DM about Harry Potter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WittySassBasket: I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
@sad_tree: *sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there
@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen
@WilliamRodgers: I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said "Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."