@badbanana: Just realized I only had one meal today. One, thirteen-hour meal.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.
@UncleDuke1969: Date: So… Tinder, huh? Me: Yup. Date: … Me: This is kind of awkward. Date: Maybe we should’ve used real pictures. Me: You think so, MOM?
@Underchilde: [Minister]: Do you take this woman to be your lawful— [Groom]: I’m just here for the open bar.