@andiedandie0: Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change .
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@ItsJusKimberly: [doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door "no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"
@JermHimselfish: My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax
@AnnaKendrick47: In first grade when I'd tell my parents what I learned in class and they'd act amazed, I'd think "Shouldn't you know this shit already?"