@andiedandie0: Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change .
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@decentbirthday: [waking up after car crash] Doctor: Sadly, we could only reattach 8 of your fingers. However we were able to reattach all 12 of your toes
@WilliamRodgers: Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How? Dr: It just does Me: What just does? Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How?
@Monathais: Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!