@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
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@markhoppus: Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I'm calling the damn cops.
@AlmightyBored: Me to my 18yo, who doesn't like chocolate: What do you crave when you have your period? Her: Justice.
@MaraWilson: I recently got invited to a party with lots of attractive people and learned that I am very good at being ignored by lots of attractive people
@fro_vo: Waiter: how were your steak and eggs Me: just okay Waiter: oh no Me: you could say they were Waiter: please no Me: *sips mimosa* meaty yoker