@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
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@AndyAsAdjective: captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir
@trentistweeting: [first date] ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see
@omgthatspunny: The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.