@fluffysuse: Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list.
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@Reverend_Scott: Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and started making meth in my basement but anyway take one candy bar each kids. Happy Halloween.
@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.
@EmmaUtters: Someone knocked at my door asking if I would like to donate to the children's home so I just chucked him a few kids