@fluffysuse: Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list.
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@RBColl: FDA should require Starbucks baristas/cashiers to be calorie counters. "Here's change of 50 and that's 1,073 calories of your Venti Frap."
@Underchilde: “There’s no use crying over spilt milk.” Unless you spill it on a winning Powerball ticket, then you should probably cry.
@DoritosOverHoes: "YOUR 15" is trending worldwide instead of "YOU'RE 15" and that's why we haven't found a cure for cancer yet.
@internetluke: "No, no. No! NO!" - guy who invented black ski masks after people started using them for robbing