@fluffysuse: Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pleatedjeans: [cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]
@KeetPotato: Surely there's a 3rd option. Can't i just walk home? That can't be my only two choices? Ride or DIE? Seems a bit extreme.
@lilgapeach30: Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life.