@carlyken: Just remember, every time someone misuses the word "epic" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RileyCaptain: Me: Goodnight mom I love you Mom: I have a boyfriend Dad putting arm around Mom: This loser giving you a problem?
@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"
@bobvulfov: *couple's marriage begins to fall apart* *marriage counselor blows on them like an N64 cartridge* Okay how about now
@shatterpants: I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math.