@carlyken: Just remember, every time someone misuses the word "epic" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele.
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@sad_tree: *Killer sneaks into my house to murder me but sees me practicing karate w/ my big stuffed dog I won from the carnival and changes his mind*
@EndhooS: "Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek" Yeah "Can you demonstrate?" Sure, count to 10 *Counts to 10 & opens eyes* *I'm literally on fire*
@mattingebretson: Whenever I see someone with a non-reusable water bottle I get a gun and shoot a nearby animal and say "you did that"