@i_Lean: Just remember Mom, you can't spell "disappointment" without "appointment" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview.
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@3sunzzz: Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, "Christ speaking", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome.
@JohnLyonTweets: *approaches woman in club* Me: Would you like to dance? Her: Sure. Me: While you're dancing can I sit in your chair? I'm really tired.
@ZombieProblms: I bumped into a cute guy today. I clawed his face off. I should work on my people skills.
@darksidedeb: I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed.