@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white
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@RickAaron: I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice.
@vulcan_kelly: I'm not being creepy but i can see thru my binoculars that your family portrait is hanging crooked on your wall
@Plurprincess_1: I bought a pair of Undies yesterday. On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love" ..and on the back it says, "But I Won't do That."
@zachreinert03: Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit