@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white
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@notbedelia: 911: what's your emergency? M: I'm out of ketchup. 911: miss I don't think u get how 911 works. M: I DONT THINK U GET HOW HOT DOGS WORK
@iGreenMonk: I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes
@thetits: Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
@Neauxpe: A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes.