@ericas_twit: Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?
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@iGreenMonk: 1)Print out a "WANTED" poster with your face on it. 2)Dress as a cop. 3)Go around asking people if they've seen this person.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, do you like princesses?" "Yes." "Why?" "Well usually they have a nice set of ti-" Wife: "Shut it." "I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."
@Fred_Delicious: the first rule of OCD club is that there must be a second rule so we have an even number of rules