@Tmoney68: Just saw a bird walking down the side of the road & yelled out my window, "YOU CAN FLY, YOU STUPID BIRD," because I am a mature adult.
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@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!
@jus4golf: Me: What's for dinner? Her: Chinese. Me: I will make the Duck Sauce. *catches duck *fires up juicer
@jake_lach: When I was 12 I ate a bee to impress a girl, and she just sent me a friend request on Facebook. So, mission accomplished.