@armyVet1972: Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?
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@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
@NoTheOtherJohn: [lifts $1000 apple watch to my face] Wrist computer: show me where hot dogs are.
@SadieSkyNinja: Indian Twitter is a lot like regular Twitter except everyone is misquoting Gandhi instead of Marilyn Monroe.