@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
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@hello_saylor: As your goth coworker, I will change all “Out of order” signs to “Haunted” signs. Sorry, you can’t use that printer- it’s haunted.
@armyVet1972: I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle.
@jrza84: I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking "hey, can I see how you look?" is frowned upon.
@jimmytorosian: What are you listening to? The Who Who? Yes You're listening to Yes? No The Who Oh I like them No not Them. The band is The Who. The Band?