@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
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@StaciedeNOLA: If I were a rapper I'd write a lyric like "Get money, make cupcakes. Must be winter 'cuz I be frosting," and my pseudonym would be One-Zee.
@LMFaye: The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
@ThRealBallsDeep: *Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*
@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.