@ElizaBayne: Just saw a dolphin with a tattoo of a college girl struggling for individuality and freedom from her middle class parents
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@aka_fatman: Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!
@Thedudish: My fridge is so empty, I just saw a fly in my kitchen wearing a pastry apron, kneading dough and mumbling "He doesn't even buy bread."
@BillPelicanBros: A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids.