@ScottLinnen: Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever.
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@iamspacegirl: [Wall Street] ME: haha Hump Day, amiright? HUMPTY DUMPTY *rolls eyes* ME: eh? *nudge* HD: Dude don't- ME: eh? *harder nudge* EH? Oh shit
@Sickayduh: Joey: WHOA Blossom: So you like that? Joey: WHOA Blossom: Are you saying stop? Joey: WHOA Blossom: OK This is the worst safeword ever
@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.