@funnybeachgirl: Just saw a Fiat & a Mini Cooper get into a head on collision. It was horrible... there was glitter everywhere.
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@TheCatWhisprer: I hate when I think there's an open parking space and then I have to run over a motorcycle.
@DanMentos: *passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*
@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?