@Its_Miss_Riss: Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel.
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@Marlebean: As a responsible parent, I gave my kids a healthy breakfast of strawberries w/ milk & a little sugar... frozen. OK IT WAS ICE CREAM! FitFam?
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker....
@AristotlesNZ: Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit.
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird