@KateQFunny: Just saw a guy wearing a hat that says "Don't Bother Me," so I asked him where he got it & how much it cost & whether or not it works.
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@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao
@electrolemon: yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose
@shariv67: I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away.