@JordyHamrick: Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now.
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@Aspersioncast: So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper.
@TwoSapphiresBlu: I crave feet in the sand, a gentle ocean breeze, the sun on my face, and two entirely new presidential candidates.
@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
@Ristolable: 100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move.