@BruceForce: Just saw a horse drawn cart. Wasn't a very good cart. Horses are terrible artists.
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@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
@djdarrellripley: Him: I just had sex with that woman! Me: She’s 60. Him: I know. Me: I Hope you used protection or you might have caught osteoporosis.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.