@bencoffeehall: Just saw a license plate that said "LUV SLUG." I hope it shrivels up when they salt the roads in the winter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@darkpassenger74: I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket
@juliussharpe: I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money.
@007Pepe_Rex: Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?
@_ElvishPresley_: [Thanksgiving] ME: hey dad will ya pass the peas DAD: say please ME: hey dad will ya pass the please DAD: *tears up so hard*