@Tmoney68: Just saw a man wearing a pager. Apparently, he's expecting a very important call from someone in 1994.
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@delusions_of: What I said: "Let's get together sometime." What I meant: "Please forget you ever saw me."
@Abusitron: I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
@TheTweetOfGod: Next time, instead of complaining about how bad you have it, think about other people, and how to make things bad for them.
@ibid78: [my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that