@JamesonN7: Just saw a rainbow.........great now the sky is gay
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@stephenjmolloy: *6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: "I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."
@kumailn: Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it's sarcasm -"I know I was being sarcastic back" -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye
@krisv_723: Him: I just got stung. I'm allergic. Grab me my EpiPen. Me: Do you know how much those cost? Have a Benadryl.
@Bagyants: Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about