@YourFavWhiteGuy: Just saw a redhead break his arm. #GingerSnap
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@bombsydoll: Spotting a woman with a wrinkle-free unstained white shirt, I shield my children behind me. ‘Stay close’ I whisper. ‘Dark magic is among us’
@LosLos__: Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
@KeithAshers: Being bitten by a radioactive spider made Peter Parker suddenly fluent in karate & gymnastics...you know, just like a real spider.
@KeetPotato: hey look! *picks up a tiny ghost costume off pavement* how cool is thi ew why is it wet? "dude, that's a condom"