@Mikecanrant: Just saw a shooting star. The crime in this galaxy is getting out of hand.
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@Snarfernini: I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking.
@TheToddWilliams: "As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China
@stephenjmolloy: [AA meeting] Ian: ...and I've been sober for 12 years now. Me: Err... I'm at the wrong meeting. *start packing up my battery collection*
@ItsLaTourette: It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing