@JennyJohnsonHi5: Just saw a snake slither through my backyard, so if anyone wants a house in Houston, it's yours.
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@daemonic3: Kids today are too obsessed with their phones to care about the "free candy" on my van. *crosses off "candy" and writes "wi-fi"
@onedumbshark: When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.
@TheBigBatman: her: psssssssst me: ? her: psssssssssssssssssssssst me: ??? her: psssssssssssssssssssssssssssst GOD DAMN IT, MY BLOW UP DOLL HAS A PUNCTURE