@BillMc7: Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.
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@trouteyes: Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw
@stephenjmolloy: Karate instructor: Come at me with an attack and I will defend it. Me: You are stupid. Instructor: *holding back tears* I meant physically
@BarryVonAwesome: Scooby Doo led me to believe there would be a LOT more abandoned amusement parks and old people pretending to be ghosts. So Disappointed.
@TheBoydP: To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon...