@BillMc7: Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.
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@ruinedpicnic: [Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector
@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
@MrAdamBez: What do you mean I've had enough to drink?!! Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.