@jerryRenek: Just saw a squirrel jump about 15 feet from one tree to another. He is now my new emergency contact.
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@TheDeadfishSays: "Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.
@Tmoney68: Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he's a great dentist so I let it go.
@BGH70: Girl at restaurant: Hey, I like your shoes. Me: Thanks! I'll tell my feet. [Smooth, Brian. Well done!]
@PinkCamoTO: Helped a stranger at the gym write a break up text today so yeah, that English degree is really paying off.