@trevso_electric: Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
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@tchrquotes: Superman: I got this Batman: I'll help S: Look, you just slow me down B: I'm a detective S: ... B: I have batarangs S: Do you hear yourself?
@theshamingofjay: No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter.
@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.