@trevso_electric: Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
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@HorribleDancer: Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
@Angibangie: -If I'm wearing matching bra and undies, I better get more than a cuddle. McDonald's worker: Another bad date huh? Have some free fries...
@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.