@robyn_vo: Just saw a woman, covered in red paint, running and screaming from an abandoned country house, LOL good prank.
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Me: I'm sorry Aquaman, but talking to fish just isn't a super power. Aquaman: oh yeah? *squints* a dolphin scoots to my car and shits on it
@StockSwaff: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy.
@mortimermaiden: Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back.
@arielleBigBlue: If I could, I would avoid every conversation by making that beeping truck sound while slowly backing away from people as they approach me.