@robyn_vo: Just saw a woman, covered in red paint, running and screaming from an abandoned country house, LOL good prank.
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@CulturedRuffian: For Lent I've decided to give up my New Year's Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies.
@Sarcasticsapien: I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination.
@iwearaonesie: *son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink