@peteholmes: just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth.
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@AdderallMomma: Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine.
@djdarrellripley: Him: I lost my dog today at the company picnic! Me: You should post something on FaceBook. Him: My dog isn't on FaceBook. Me:
@AndrewNadeau0: I eat something every 29 minutes just to ensure no one can ever make me go swimming.