@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined
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@AbbyHasIssues: I react to seeing a pizza the way most women react when they see a baby. It makes me want another one of my own.
@Home_Halfway: "State your name" Ted Cruz "Where are you from?" Texas "Your wife's name" Heidi "Your first zodiac murder" 1968 "Thank you" You're welc-WAIT
@DrFFurter: Women say they like tall men and I'm probably 6ft 4" in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet!