@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TacoStamp1: Damn my stomach is making really weird noises...I'm gonna go ahead and send a donut down there to check things out.
@secondofhername: [if Lois Lane was a witness] Criminal: *puts on glasses* Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I've never seen this man before.
@ConanOBrien: My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch.